#56 Life Lessons Learned From BJJ: How challenges on the mats can help you overcome adversity in life.
BJJ pushes us physically and mentally. There is a lot that can be taken from struggles on the mat and applied to hard times that we encounter in day to day life. JT & Joey get deep on this episode about what they have learnt from training Jiu-jitsu and the clear lessons that have helped them in their lives.
Learn from Anyone
Playing the long game
Efficiency is Everything
BJJ doesn’t get any easier the longer you train, you just get better at dealing with the challenge. When you step back and reflect on your experience, these lessons can really help you live a better life.
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Better listen. Very careful.
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A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready,
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Essentially at this point, the fight is
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Over. So you pretty much flow with the goal
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Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limit this power.
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another Bulletproof for BJJ podcast. I am J T Hey guys, I’m Joey. Today. We will be talking about life lessons learned in BJJ are gonna be talking about those things, which are quite unique to BJJ, which really inform and cross over to everyday life. And both you and I, Joe , we’ve been doing jujitsu for a while , and there’s certain things that really, I guess, hit home, which maybe haven’t occurred in other kind of adventures and other pursuits in life, jujitsu of challenges you in a , in a different way. And I , I thought it would be really good , uh , you know, to, and we both, we both discussed this before, talking about those things that are really strong lessons that help us when we have other interactions when we’re not doing jujitsu, I think jujitsu can be quite confronting for a lot of people and really points out inadequacies and, and also like really confronting having someone close up in your personal space if you’ve never had that before. But really if anything, it’s challenged me as much mentally as it has physically. And so you’ve found something similar, Joe . Yeah, absolutely. Bit of jujitsu philosophy for you guys. Yeah. Dan ask perhaps may maybe slightly less creepy and boring, but yes . Similar. Thanks for listening, John . Yes. I think, yeah. Any pursuit, anything you do can have carry over to life, but jujitsu has a really unique way. I , I think it has some very unique aspects in the way that you train it versus other martial arts. It’s so diff for that, that whole fighting till submission and tapping out thing and the , the whole, how long it takes to progress in jujitsu and be awarded belts and , and all those sorts of things. And the ups and downs, there is a huge, there are huge life lessons in there. If you choose to look at them, I think for maybe for some folks listening these things, when we say them, we’ll be like, oh yeah, that’s totally there, but you just might not have thought about it before. Yes. And I think it’s very cool to consider because well, if you’re doing something, if you’re investing your time in it like jujitsu , it would be kind of cool to know that you’re getting more out of it than just like some techniques that are gonna help you bash your mates. You know , you’ve had a few beers at the barbecue, your backyard . Yeah . Well , yeah. And , and I think that’s the thing when you come to Jusa, you don’t go, whoa , I’m signing up for 10 years. No , no one, no one says that. No, if you really love it and you do get deep enough in it before, you know, it it’s like five, six years past and you’re like, wow, I’m really in this thing. And there’s nothing in your mind that says, oh, I better just stop. Now. It’s six years. You’re like, well, no, I’m , I’m on this path. I’m gonna go there. So I think whether you’ve just started or you’ve been doing it for a while , it’s worthwhile to do a bit of reflection. And that’s really what this is about. And one of the biggest things that’s occurred to me or the biggest changes in the way I think about interacting with people is , uh , learning from anyone or learning from everyone. It doesn’t matter if they’re a white belt or they’re a black belt. There’s always something to learn there. And the way this was explained to me many years ago was you need to be able to separate the art from the artist. Cause sometimes you see somebody, you know, on the internet or you get their instruction or you’re like , man, they’re so good at jujitsu, man. Oh man, that technique, I love it. And you know, there’s also another saying , you know, don’t meet your heroes, but sometimes you meet somebody and you’re like, wow, you are a big bag. And nothing like that was underwhelming. That was disappointing. Like the personality’s not there. The jujitsu is amazing, but maybe not even, maybe they’re not even a nice person. You’re like, ah , I wanna hang out with you. Like sure. You go to the seminar, learn some moves, but they’re not necessarily gonna wanna be your life coach or someone you aspire to be. But it doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them in the same way. Like whether that’s a world champion , uh , I , I found it very interesting teaching, having someone come in, maybe it’s their only first or second day of jujitsu and they do something new. You’re like, what did you do there? They’re like, oh , just do it like this. And they can’t explain why, but when you, when you actually understand jujitsu, you’re like , actually that’s really good. I could do that. And you can learn from a white belt. And I used to think back in the day, look, if someone is kind of ignorant or if they don’t understand a subject matter, they’re , they’re not, you know, don’t waste time on ’em , you know, they they’re an idiot or they , they don’t know what they don’t know, leave and be, I always thought you had to learn from experts, but what jujitsu has thoroughly taught me or correct in my thinking is actually someone who’s new to something has no bias and they’re more creative and they might just come up with something new. And if you’re open to it, you can learn from that person on any level. Yeah. I agree. I think that lesson even extends to the, the content that say , say, say , uh , a lower belt passing on a technique to you. And of course, many times you’re like, this is awesome stuff like, man. Yeah . You’ve obviously been really diving into this. Like tell me more, but let’s say that , you know, that , that , they’ve what they’re teaching you is not particularly valuable. You’re like, nah , I don’t really credit. What you’re passing on right now is special. But perhaps in that exchange, there’s something else they’re teaching you. Yeah . Right. Like it can , it can go beyond that. Yes. To be like, well actually, what , what am I learning from this exchange? Right. A really a , a good example that comes to mind for me with that is this thing that happens when you start to train a lot of jujitsu and you’re doing things and you’ve been in the game for a while, maybe you’re a blue belt or higher, and people are moving a certain way and the game’s playing, you know? So when I go for this, they’re gonna do that. So this will be my response. And, and then you roll with a brand new white belt and you know, maybe they’re big and athletic and they just they’re a real handful because they don’t respond in the way that all of these jujitsu people do. They’re not moving like a jujitsu person. No. They’re like, well , I don’t know anything about this game. So I’m just gonna use my instincts. And you’re like, I’ve been rolling with people who just know jujitsu. Yeah . Like they’ve moved away from instincts. Yes. You know, cuz that’s the , that’s the higher level, right? Yeah. But then you get someone that’s just being instinctive. Maybe they they’ve , you know , they played rugby league. Yeah . And you’re like, holy. All of my stuff’s not working. Yeah. There’s something to be learned for me in , in that situation where you’re like, wow, whatever illusion I had about myself and how good I was and it can come crashing down in a split second. That’s a reality check. Yeah. Like, because maybe it’s that person in a pub street fight . Oh yeah. And before you know, it it’s like, your jujitsu, you just got bottled. Yeah . It’s like , you
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Know , like it’s
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Like a black beast. Oh I just stand up Derek .
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Yeah. Derek beast . Yeah . Right.
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He’s like, what are you doing ? So takes you down . Oh , just stand up. Just exactly beast mode. So yeah, I think that there’s real reality in that, you know, and I , my example was kind of very specific there, but, but that’s something that stands out to me as being like, okay, yeah, I can , I can take something away from this exchange right now. I’m learning something from that person. Definitely. And the way that I have carried this out is I seek to ask more questions now as much as before as I not be arrogant, but like try to be well versed subject matter. If I’m talking with someone who I haven’t met before, or I don’t really understand where they’re coming from, I’ll ask them more questions. And even if they say something I don’t agree with, I’m like, oh , that seems stupid. And then I ask them a question and say, how did you come to that conclusion? Maybe what brought them to that conclusion makes sense. You’re like, oh , okay. You look at it like that. That’s cool. I get that. I , I can take something from that. And it’s just that different perspective. It’s just being able to see it from another angle, which can broaden your own understanding of subject matter, what any field of work, whatever that looks like. So I think I’ve definitely become a lot more open to , uh , learning from those around me. Jujitsu’s taught me that. Yeah . Yeah. I , I absolutely share that. I think about it often with a , you know, we’ve got a kid Hattie she’s almost nine and she just wants to tell you how the world works all the time and you know, whatever you’re talking about, she ah , that’s be that’s because the , and , and , you know, whatever she’s explaining to you generally doesn’t make sense. Sure. Because she’s just trying to learn this game of conversation and , you know, hanging out on the adult level and whatever. And a lot of the time I’m , you know, I can be pretty brutal . I’m just like, that’s not true. That’s not, that is , that is a lie because she’s talking about say jujitsu or something that I know a lot about. Just , just you, you are very wrong that young girl is wrong. Yeah. I’m like, I have to shut this down right now. But sometimes if we’re talking about something, like if we’re talking about dogs or bugs or anything, that’s on David Attenborough . Sure. Uh , or by David Attenborough , she knows. Right. And so it’s , and it’s very easy for a old who’s, you know, busy and whatever kid talking smack. You’re like sure . But yeah . Yeah. Okay. Thanks kid. And kind of just discount what they’re saying. Yeah. But sometimes there’s nuggets in there. Sure. And I try to train myself to be like, oh , tell me about ants. Tell me about the different species of ants . Okay. Because I’m like, I can learn something from this child. Yeah . Even though, you know, 80% of what’s coming from her is like very inaccurate. That’s a creative mess. Yeah. And I , and I think about it in jujitsu, it’s very easy as a higher belt to kind of discount what the blue belt’s telling you. Sure. But, but then I think you think about it and you’re like, actually, no , this blue belt does spend all of their time watching instructional, they know way more about some specific things that I probably ever will. So I’m like, eh , share it with me. Yeah. Definitely. And I think, I , I, yeah, I think to that point, it’s , um, you , you choose whether you go into a situation and you’re gonna learn something or whether you’re gonna come out of it, learning nothing, but feeling like, like your ego’s a bit infected , I already know. Yeah . Yeah. Being, being open to see a, for an , uh , understanding of the world. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. The second major thing that I, you know, I’m an incredibly impatient person. If I can get to an outcome, I can’t believe that. Yeah. It’s strange. I mean, they always used to tell me, they always used to call me the Zen master as a young person, far from it. It’s one of those things that I , I think that people don’t appreciate that jujitsu is so massive. And it is, it does take a little while it takes like a year or two years for you to be like, whoa , I’ve I thought I’d get good at this in three months. Like, I , I could get in this and know jujitsu in three months. And then 12 months later , I , man, I’m still, I kind of notice stuff, but I , I don’t know . And then honestly, once you’ve done 10 years and you’re like, wow, there is still a depth . There’s still a world to understand. I used to think if you could get better quicker, then you are better. And this is not true. I , I have seen absolutely the greatest of all time at jujitsu didn’t succeed very well in their preliminary years. Like even though there are those re counselors , so you’ve got a guy like Nicholas Mengali right. He won worlds at blue. He won worlds at purple, multiple times and world champion at brown. And then his first year at black, he won worlds as well. Like that guy’s winning all the way along. He was shaped up from a young age. You are gonna be a champ . This is how we do it. Follow the formulas, stick to the formula. But then you get a guy like Leandro Lowe , who is considered to be one of the greatest of all time. Really didn’t get a lot of wins in early. He, he struggled, I think maybe he won the bra brown, but he sucked the purple and brown ball . He , he wasn’t really winning. And it was only once he kind of Crested black and he kind of found his game and his rhythm that he started to emerge. And really just kind of took over this good period of like five to eight years where he, he was beat everyone at every level, lightweight, middleweight, middle heavy heavyweight, absolute , like just, he’s like , he’s like the Manny pack of jujitsu. But that guy, if you looked at him when he is a brown belt, people weren’t talking about him. Yeah. Right. He wasn’t even on the radar and now he’s considered to be one of the greatest of all time. So I think that’s one of the things is that playing the long game, knowing that yeah, in 10 years you’re gonna be awesome at this thing. It’s hard to see right now. And I have started to look at other parts of my life like that. So I , I think one of the key things that you guys can take from this, because I’ve been looking at business this way, and this has been a really hard thing for me is that ultimately things are gonna take way longer than I want or I expect. And I , man, you know, I , I want it yesterday. I want that business success yesterday. I want , I want the Bulletproof app yesterday. Like why can’t it be, you know, Joey is always getting, getting a little bit , uh , has to temper me a little bit. I’m like, yeah, but what about this? What about that? And let’s do that. And Joe’s like, mate, did you call your jets? Have you looked at Trello today? Like, could you tick that off, please respond to that email please. But you know, cuz it , it , I like to get excited. I like big energy, but definitely just because you want it now. And just because you push for it to be now, doesn’t mean that it’s gonna happen that way. And jujitsu is definitely playing the long game if you wanna be good. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think most folks in the game are like, yeah, it’s taking me forever to get that Stripe on my blue belt . You know, we get that. And, and I , I , I really do think that the, all the good things in life take time, we see the overnight successes. We see, you know, talks to, you know, about this, you know, and business and whatever. And it’s like, you see the fast growth, you see the rapid rise of certain individuals, but the reality is it takes a long time to do anything good. And there are always outliers, but the heart of it, you have to be prepared to, to , to do whatever you’re doing for a long period of time. And undo jujitsu teaches you that it is the longest engagement of any given thing. Yeah. Like you could school more than school could become a doctor in a shortest place of time, in less time than it would take you to get a black belt. Yeah . You know, generally speaking. So, and if you look at it from that perspective, you don’t go into it thinking, right , I’m gonna do this. I’m gonna give this thing 15 years and no, you just get into it and you’re having a good time and you keep getting and keep doing it. But if you can kind of take a step back and realize that wherever you are at with it, that you’ve been able to apply consistent effort over a sustained period of time, then think about how that can transfer to things in your life. It’s like, oh , well what, what am I , you know, what other things do I want that I’m prepared to apply a similar amount of energy to, and, and not a similar amount of energy, that’s the wrong expression to use, but a similar consistency of effort showing up. Yeah. And , but no, it’s true in terms of like mental and physical energy of showing up day in and day out. And you know, like , I , I feel like one of the most consistent people, I know John T. Marsh , uh , we love, we love John. Uh , he’s in marketing. And also John is a very strong human being. Like this guy is doing one arm . Pullups the guy can do pullups with weight, hanging off him. And he’s a big frame, human. He doesn’t promote it much because he’s not trying to be an Instagram influencer, like, look how fit I am. But the guy can do handstand pushups. He can do weighted pullups. This guy is, is a freaking unit, but he doesn’t advertise it because that’s not what he’s about. What he’s about is hell helping small businesses improve it , marketing. And he’s one of the best living, examples of someone who’s so consistent. He shows up every day , he blogs every day . He , you know, he’s all about process. He all , yeah . He write , he writes an email blog every day , every day . And it’s, it’s cool because it’s very accessible. He’s not complicated. It’s not fancy. He’s just encouraging people to do what he does. And he gives people tools to do it. And I admire that because I think one of my biggest weaknesses has been, I am like a short burst specialist. I can give something a huge amount of energy for like three to six months. And then I out and then I lose the passion for it. And I’m not interested. And it’s quite immature because really the maturity is no, it doesn’t take six months. Nah . It doesn’t even take 12 months. It is gonna take you five years. And if it comes to business or a relationship or saving for a house, like all that stuff takes time. You’ll get there, but you’ve gotta stay in the game and you’ve gotta play the long game. Yeah , absolutely. That’s um, that’s an extremely potent one. Isn’t it? Yeah. It’s , it’s tough because don’t get me wrong. Does it mean staying in there when the motivation drops off? Yeah. When it’s not fun. Yeah. And you’re like, I don’t wanna do this anymore. Yeah . It’s easy to do things that you feel motivated. You know, it’s easy to jump from project to project things that feel motivating fun. It’s hard to stay committed to a process and that kind of discipline to just keep doing the thing. I heard a really good analogy for what discipline is as is as choice. That sounds basic. But think this discipline is not just, ah , I eat a good diet or I , I always go jujitsu on time, blah blah. And, and we associate discipline with that. Oh , they’re healthy or , or , oh , they’re fit. But discipline is you choosing to live your life according to your beliefs and what you want. If you are not disciplined, how are you living your life? Like who is running your life other than you like, is it Instagram running your life? Did you waste two hours on Instagram today? Or are you just doing whatever your mates do? Are you just following whatever advice that you see on YouTube or whatever, like, don’t get me wrong. There’s lots of different places to get information from. But really it comes down to your decision making and discipline is you making the decision to do the right thing by yourself consistently. And , and really that accumulates over time. That’s kind of not, not just not being passive in how you are living, but being a little bit more intentional about things. Yeah. That means yeah. Which, and if that means you choose to around on Instagram for an hour. Sure . Great. But if you , if you were doing it and it wasn’t deliberate , if you catch yourself, you’re like , oh no. Yeah , you scrolled. And you’re like, God, I lost 60 minutes. I’ve done that. And I’m someone who’s , I try to be as vision as possible. And I’m like, what am I doing this? Thing’s got my brain boggled. So , uh , the next, by the way, follow us at Bulletproof great content daily. Yeah. Really it’s says is gonna uplift your mind. The next thing , uh , number three, efficiency is everything I’m gonna throw to . Yeah. We had a lot of discussion around this particular point. Well , finding it hard to articulate because it kind of covers a few sort of aspects of the jujitsu experience. One of the main ones for me that mind is you’re going super hard and using all your strength against someone who just has better technique than you and your work and overtime , you’re huffing and puffing and your muscles are blown out. You know, you just, you you’re going for it. And they’re just cruising and they’re kind of like just , just juggling, just managing you. Yeah. And then they put you in a leg and tangle , then you get hill hooked it’s game over . Yeah . And, and the leg lock game is a really good expression of that. You see these people who just have amazing leg lock technique versus someone who doesn’t have the understanding of that part of the game and they just get owned. And there is obviously a place for strength and power in jujitsu , uh, particularly when it backs up great technique that is of course the greatest use of your strength. But if we think about that, it’s like the technique or the efficiency. It’s the person who is efficient. They know where they’re going. They they’re predicting what your response is gonna be. They’re using their energy efficiently against you. This is the greatest use of your energy and kind of talking to the long game piece a little bit. If you can try not to be a bull about how you approach things on the mats, but also in life, it usually makes things a bit easier. Yeah . Doesn’t it like, I , I think about that with, with work where you can just get caught up in a grind, you’re working super hard, you’re it? You’re doing it. Ticking boxes. You you’re just, I’m not sleeping enough, but I’m getting it done. Yep . But oftentimes when you’re in that place and we all get there a lot, if you step back and you look at what am I actually doing here? Mm . And then you realize, wait, I don’t need to be putting energy into that. Why am I doing that? I don’t actually, that’s outdated now. I need, I , that’s not what the focus needs to be to reach, you know, the next I need to be working on this. Yeah . Okay. Now we start to become a little bit more efficient with our use of things. I find that parallel for me has always been huge. Definitely. And look, there’s a , I dunno if you guys are across the far side cartoon, but just envision a small chubby child, smart child with glasses on carrying a stack of books under their arm could be a laptop. And in front of them is the school for the gifted. And they’re pushing against the door with their head down and they’re pushing with all their might , but up on the door, it reads poor . So it doesn’t matter. You know how smart you think you are, whether it’s brain power , body power, anything. If you cannot read the play, if you cannot understand actually what you need to do to solve the problem, then you will be infinitely frustrated. And we’ve all had that experience right? Where we are groupings so hard, our grips gas out. But if you have a look, as you develop through your Judi technique, there’s times when it’s good to grip, there’s time when it’s good to chill. And you only really know usually by making mistakes, like you kind of, you , they always say, you know, you can’t make mistakes on behalf of people. You gotta let people make mistakes to learn, but that’s so you can learn from other people’s experiences. And I , I know in myself, I’m someone who tries to do hard and generally I’m just, I’m compensating for a lifetime and not being cool. And so I just gotta , I’m like, I can outwork how uncool I am. If I work hard, I’ll be , I’ll get there. It’s not true. People who are cool. Don’t actually really bother to think what other people think they’re , they’re too busy having fun and doing their own thing. That’s what makes them , that’s what makes them cool. But , um , but , but that’s true. We are . Yeah. Yeah . That’s right . That’s cool. I’ll that was a cool joke. Oh , you got me . That’s right . I’ll check you out. And little bug . That idea efficiency. When coming to , uh , your work, even a task, what would this look like? If it was easy? Cuz we have really programmed to work hard. We really respect yeah. Work hard. This, that this, even though there’s plenty of things that we don’t give enough energy to, essentially, if you can take the time to think about it a little bit more, not just do often that will reveal a more efficient path. So less energy means you can go a bit longer. You can get a bit more done and you can also pull back when you feel like that energy’s wearing out. There’s this thing, we all know it sunk cost bias. You’re like, yeah, but I’ve just thrown bloody 80% of myself into this. I’ve gotta give it the last 20%. I’ve gotta give it everything because otherwise that 80 percent’s wasted. It’s like, actually that’s not true. If you can take a more methodical approach, a slightly easier approach and just take it step by step , you might realize you’re heading in the wrong direction and then you haven’t overcommitted. You can back out and then head in a different direction. And that’s true in jujitsu as it is in life. There’ll be times where betting the house straight out the gate, you know, I’m all in. If you don’t understand the odds and you don’t understand the risk, Ken , all of this, there’s every chance that you are gonna end in tragedy there in the same way in jujitsu. If you don’t understand that if you don’t tap really soon that person’s gonna reconstruct your knee with a heel hook , that’s gonna be very expensive, $10,000 in surgery, blah, blah, blah, pain, agony, you can’t work cetera , cetera . So having a better under ending of the technique, the situation, the risk, and taking your time to not expend too much energy means you’ll have more energy for better outcome. Yeah, it’s exactly it. And I think this leads to the, the next thing which is confronting. I think it’s one of the hardest things with jujitsu, which is you are not invincible and jujitsu is gonna throw a big punch of humility in your face on a pretty regular basis. I think it’s probably a reason why a lot of people can’t handle jujitsu. People who quit, who are just like, they try it and they’re like, Nope , that’s not for me. It’s bursting their up bubble that we create in our minds that everything’s gonna be okay. And when you go to jujitsu and you get paired up with that big ex rugby player and they don’t care, you are , you are gonna find out how vulnerable you are. Yeah. Our , I believe , uh , everyone would believe that our modern life really gives us the privilege to be able to operate without ever having to really visit our vulnerabilities. Mm . You know, if we compare it to a hunter gatherer kind of lifestyle where you are , you might get molded by whatever it is, you’re hunting or something that’s hunting. You , you know, violence from a , from a rival village or, you know, from someone wants to take what you have, like death and destruction and disability. Yeah . All , you know, all of these things was a part was a part of daily life. We don’t really have to deal with as much of that. These days we have bad things that can happen. People get sick, can get cancer, you know, you can get injured, hit by a car, like whatever plane goes down. Sure. happens. But most of the time we’re pretty protected. We live in, you know, safe bubbles. We’ve got nice, you know, structured floors that we walk on. We’ve pushed all of the large predators and cats and stuff where we’ve just exterminated them all. So they’re not problem anymore . Yeah . You know, even at the beaches and there’s sharks, but we cool . Most of them, you know, it’s um , but you know, point point being is that we are incredibly vulnerable beings, but we can, we can almost live a life where we never have to acknowledge that. Jujitsu gives you a chance to reenact that. Oh yeah. And you can feel, and live this vulnerability on a daily basis. Yeah. And you can close yourself off to it and come up with the , ah , I wasn’t on that day. You know , that guy normally never gets me or, oh , he muscled it. Yeah, yeah. Or no , I’ve got a bad ankle. That’s the only reason I tell whatever . Or you just be like, I got beaten and beaten means, you know, whatever , if you wanna look at it, I would’ve killed you. Would’ve killed you. Would’ve torn your arm apart, whatever it is a real privilege to be able to have that experience on the mats because that’s what enables you to then guide into your life and be like, okay, I get it. We are vulnerable. can happen. can go wrong. And how I show up after that, hopefully I show up after that. But you know, how I show , you know, in the face of that is , um, you know, that my response to that is, is what’s important. And I think that that’s where jujitsu people will always have. Maybe it’s a , like a slight advantage of just some regular person on the street who likes to play tennis. And that’s how they keep fit. Yeah. You feel like you’ve lived life a little bit deeper than they have in that particular aspect. You’re closer to reality. Yeah. Like if you’ve been choked, unconscious and you come to , you realize like, whoa , that’s pretty full on , but I’m still here. I didn’t die. And even though that might be really confronting if you said that someone, oh , and then I got choked unconscious. I was like, what? Oh , how dare at that person? And are you okay? And you’re like, I’m fine. Like that that’s life that happens. And really the truth is you also have it in the back of your head. All right , Craig, from HR, if you were wearing a gear right now, I’d choke you unconscious. Well , I actually think HR , uh , dispute should be solved with the due to no time movement submission only matches. I think it would shake down very evenly in the , uh , corporate sector. It build camaraderie amongst the , uh , office. It would. And then also the , uh , you know, the angrier nerds who are practicing their Gogo plats will rise up. Really. You do get to touch a pretty grim reality in a safe way. You know , there’s a lot of trust in jujitsu. So when you tap, you are trusting, the person let’s go. But also it is on you to protect yourself. If you don’t tap early, your elbow’s gonna pop. If you , if you think, oh , you can just muscle outta this joke, you’re gonna end up unconscious and that’s on you. And you really have to take responsibility for like staying safe in this environment is a big part of my responsibility. Whereas I think in day to day life, we often go, nah , the police take care of that. Now , if I’m in an accident, ambulance will take care of that. Yeah. You know, you see it with like first aid situations. There’s an accident. Someone’s on a bike car, hits them, boom. They go down only the people who’ve done first aid or only the people who are either ambulance officers or they’re in the military or have had some will run in everyone else just freezes up. People are just like, Ugh , get out your phone. You know? Like people just don’t in bad times, only those who are trained really act. They’re able to overcome that freeze up scary moment. And you get some bad times in jujitsu . Yeah. You’ve got a huge human sitting on your chest, putting their fist in your throat. And you’ve gotta think your way out of it. Like if you just , uh , freak and react and Chuck your arm out, you get arm baed. And once you con you consciously know that you’re like, all right , this is really bad. And everything in your brain is going, you are gonna, you are gonna die. And you know, the adrenaline’s going, you know, that you have to gradually work your way out and sometimes you don’t get out. Yeah. To use an example of something that we’ve had in, in , uh , here at jungle brothers, you have , and this is super common in jujitsu . Everyone’s gonna be familiar with this. You have a situation where you get, usually you’ll have most gyms will have less females on the , on the mats than males. Yep . Just how it is a male-dominant sport. It is . Um , and you will get these guys that come in that haven’t really done much, but they’re highly physical and they’ll roll with, with a , a female. And the guy will just bring all of his athleticism and power cuz he doesn’t, he doesn’t know how strong he is . He doesn’t realize how intimidating he’s being. And I should actually extend this out. This is not a male female thing. This can happen to absolutely anybody. But what I’m getting at here is the, the exchange can leave one person quite rattled. Sure. Holy like that was full on . I didn’t enjoy that . Yeah . It was too RAF . Like , and , and , and you know, and , and I really do mean that it doesn’t, it’s not exclusively a male female thing by any means, but that is , is a real opportunity. Isn’t it? Cuz you’re like, you just got exposed to something that made you really uncomfortable and that is a really harsh reality of life. Yes . That she , it can happen. That’s really uncomfortable. So, okay. What do we do now? Like how do we address this? Yeah. You know, and I think just that, that like that parallel and obviously like when we’ve dealt with the situation like that, it is, it is traumatic. It can be right. Like not as traumatic as, as some things, but it is, but it is trauma right. To a degree. Um, but , but that is an opportunity to be like, all right , okay. This is a part of life. Or as a part of the sport I’m playing can get outta hand. How do I , how do I deal with this? How do I become stronger or better equipped to deal with that, that , that side of , uh , that side of humanity. Yeah. And I think it can go the other way too, where some big athletic I comes in, you got a Savage blue belt lady. Who’s pretty savvy seen plenty of strong white belt guys in their lifetime and is like, yeah, I’m gonna foot lock this guy. Guy’s like, ha ha . What’s going on next minute, he’s getting triangled. And in his head, he’s like, you’re smaller than me.
Speaker 7: 32:23
This does not
Speaker 5: 32:23
Compute. I’m higher
Speaker 7: 32:24
In the food chain. You little woman, me big man,
Speaker 5: 32:28
Tap , tap, tap . And that guy shattered his , his world is like over. I love that cuz I’m like, yeah, that’s jujitsu working. And that’s where you need to know that it doesn’t matter how big and strong you think you are and how buffed up your ego is. If someone is a bit meaner and a bit more efficient and well trained, they’re gonna up your day. You’re done and people don’t come back and , and , and the hard thing is in life, you have to keep showing up, you separate this from jujitsu you to work, you have a really bad day, you got a mortgage to pay. You got kids to feed, you gotta keep showing up. Right. So it’s like, we’re not invincible, but that’s okay. As long as like, you know, they say, you know, success is not final. And , uh , failure is not fatal. As long as doesn’t kill you. As long as you’re not out the game, you can keep showing up, accepting that we are to a certain extent, vulnerable and just being okay with it. Like just knowing that you are not gonna have everyday feeling strong and feeling great. And just knowing that you’re gonna have bad days. And that is okay. That’s key. I think the , one of the biggest problems we , the modern day society is we have a bad day and it’s like, well, you’re not supposed to feel like that. Well, no, you can. You really can. And if you’re in a different part of the world and a bomb was dropped on your house and you’ve had the flee and now you live in a refugee camp, you could say, life’s not meant to be like this, but that’s the current situation. Now what it’s accepting the current status and then acting accordingly to do what you need to do to keep showing up. That’s super important. I think that’s one of the key things, guys. You , there’s gonna be so many days on the mats at your job in life that are gonna suck that doesn’t, you can’t quit the game. You have to find a way inside yourself. And that’s where you gotta dig. And this is where we get stronger and we build our character and all these things is about all right . I dunno how I’m gonna keep going, but I’m gonna find a way. And however you find a way to do it provided it’s not say copious amounts of alcohol and , uh , drugs, cuz that will require lots of other work as well. If you can find a way to manage your mind and say, I’m gonna go back because I want to get better. And I want to keep going with this. You will find the good days. And that’s where the real gold is in all of it. Absolutely. All right . My friend that’s us got deep dude. We did get deep. Woo guys, hope you like that one. I think one closing thought for me is you can choose not to look at those things. Yeah . You can choose just to do the game and be the tech , play the technique and what it’s up to you. Right? Do what you want. But if you’re going through this thing, you’re putting a lot of time into it. Why not take as much from it as you can. Yes. So if that means you can learn some life lessons and see the parallels. Well, great extra, extra knowledge, extra experience for you. Yeah. It’s a beautiful thing. Um, guys, if you need any help with your strength or your mobility, go and start our program. We’re changing people’s lives across the globe. Bulletproof for bjj.com. Uh , you can take a free trial of our program. You can see everything that’s in their standards. The ke program foundation mobility, all of our best stuff is available at your fingertips. Minimal training per week. Max results use the code BJJ pod cast and you’ll get 20% off of the checkout as a listener of the show. Nice. Cheers guys. Catch next week.